He is too busy for me. He puts me 4th or 5th on his priority list behind his hunting, golf, friends, job?
Ive been dating a guy for 2 years. I love him and want to spend time with him. We have had alot of fun times together including going on many trips in and out of the country. We are both e hour 50′s. His wife left him for another man after 25 years of marriage and 4 kids. I feel like I am always 4th,5th or 6th on his priority list. His is building a house, has 4 kids and when it isnt golf season, he is hunting every weekend. He goes awa on weekend golf trips all the time when weather permits. He has tried to include me in his friends and activities. I took up golf and have gone away with him on some of the couples trips. I still feel shortchanged though. I feel like I am an obligation to him more than anything sometimes. He recently told me that he is going to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it, as he is 52 and doesnt know how much longer he will be on this earth. I broke up with him and I am missing him so much I cant stand it. Should I move on? I am afraid of being alone. People tell me that I am attractive and that there are other men out there that would be happy to spend time with me. It just doesnt seem like there are any out there. Especially my age. Men my age seem to want the 35 year olds.
I loved everybodys answers and appreicate your help so much. Everything that was said are things I knew deep down but was afraid to face alone. I forgot to mention that I just turned 50 and divorced for 6 years after being married for 20. Sounds like a just need to "Get a Life" and move on.
Don’t be just an "option", girl. There are 6.6 billion people in the world and all you need is just ONE person to treat you right. I’m going through the same thing. I almost marry this man and we were in love but things turned upside down and I became on the bottom of his priority. At first, I’m still the sweet understanding girl. I understand that he’s going through problems with his career and finances thats why he can’t give me enough time but after 3 months of him treating me like crap, I told my self, it’s enough. I am a good girlfriend and I’m a good person and I always ask life "why is he treating me like crap"? but then I realized "why do I let him treat me like crap"?! I’m sure you thought "I’m a good person, why is he like this to me"… Don’t look for a mistake to your self. Maybe the problem is not us, maybe the problem is that person. It’s hard to forget and move forward but remember that it’s better to be unhappy alone than to be unhappy with someone.
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Don’t be just an "option", girl. There are 6.6 billion people in the world and all you need is just ONE person to treat you right. I’m going through the same thing. I almost marry this man and we were in love but things turned upside down and I became on the bottom of his priority. At first, I’m still the sweet understanding girl. I understand that he’s going through problems with his career and finances thats why he can’t give me enough time but after 3 months of him treating me like crap, I told my self, it’s enough. I am a good girlfriend and I’m a good person and I always ask life "why is he treating me like crap"? but then I realized "why do I let him treat me like crap"?! I’m sure you thought "I’m a good person, why is he like this to me"… Don’t look for a mistake to your self. Maybe the problem is not us, maybe the problem is that person. It’s hard to forget and move forward but remember that it’s better to be unhappy alone than to be unhappy with someone.
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Life lesson I learned…
I think you should talk to him about how he is making you feel. Then see what he says and decide whether or not you still want to be with him
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Myself
You were nothing more to this man than a booty call – convenient sex.
You need a REAL man who will put you FIRST each and every time.
Do not settle for anything less – you deserve to be loved and treated with the utmost respect!
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My husband is 50, divorced, with kids, and would NEVER say what that jackhole said to you, nor anything of the sort to me!
I got married at 39 if that’s any consulation to you. So you don’t have worry. You have a good chance still to find a man who will actually put you first.
You picked the wrong man. This man is now doing things HE HAS WANTED to do for many many years…..be free to be himself not tied up in marriage or a wife who has has had for most of his life. I think you picked the wrong kind a man. He will never make YOU happy he will make himself happy. And I don’t blame him either. He has raised four kids and put off "having fun" to be a responsible father and husband BUT his wife screwed him over in life. So he is bitter. Leave him alone get on with your life. He will come around if you have time then you take time for him otherwise brush him off and do your own thing. Don’t act needy or for sure you will chase him off.
Good luck. Make plans with others. Take yourself out to eat.
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it sounds to me like he has included you in his life and you just aren’t happy with it still. He is older and wants to live his life and have fun – that’s his right. He’s golfing, not at the clubs. If you can’t accept the time he has for you, then move on.
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Try looking for a younger guy, some love older women and you will be treated like a queen.
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i think you should move on. someone who loves you shouldn’t have that attitude towards you. I just married a man 20 years older then myself, and he loves to hunt and golf and all sorts of things, but there is one big difference.. he wont do any of them without me. he makes sure i’m included in everything, and if i don’t want to do it, he doesn’t do it. i try to tell him to go hunting alone or with friends but he says if my baby doesn’t want to go, i’m not leaving her home alone. and we find something else fun to do that we both enjoy. i have never asked him to be that way, he is just that way out of the kindness of his heart. because he loves me. you sound pretty cool, i’m sure plenty of men would want to make you a priority. i know its hard to let a relationship go after 2 years, but it doesn’t sound like much of a relationship anymore, it can’t be one sided. good luck!
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Your boyfriend, judging by the fact that he plays golf, is almost certainly a person lacking in judgment, perspective, and the ability to set priorities.
No doubt his wife left him because the other man actually paid attention to her. That would not surprise me at all.
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You need to raise your self esteem – this link will help with that – and it will make you happier with the time you do spend with him or you can dump him and look elsewhere for someone more in line with you and what you want from life. There are many young guys as well that would love a more mature woman if you want to join the growing number of "cougars" but you may find more people your own age interested in you with your new confidence.
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http://www.positive-way.com
Seems to me an independent woman would understand his need to have personal freedom.
Either you accept it and busy yourself or you break up with him.
If I was single (I’m a woman) I’d say exactly the same things to someone.
You’ve listened to him and what he wants out of life. You decided it didn’t suit you. So get on with life and enjoy yourself instead of wallowing in "what if?"
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I think you should take what you can get.
If you keep listening to these "never settle" and "you can do better!!!!’ types you will find yourself alone and 50+ and then your prospects of finding a mate plummet to near zero.
FWIW, most women in that age category say they are happy not to have to take care of man and are happy living alone but maybe that’s denial speaking.
If you want a Romeo/Prince Charming relationship you need to rewind the clock 30 years and change what your priorities in life were then. That opportunity has walked.
An so what you are 7th to a man you are dating?
Most married men are 9th.
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